My friend Chris and I used to lament the lack of "purpose" in our jobs as we worked a couple of call centers together. I guess that's what you could say I'm really working with right now. Gina and I have been praying for something to come along for me that would allow me to use some of the knowledge that I've gained at Malone. I was personally hoping for a youth ministry position, because that's what most people go into when they get out of college, and it would help me to feel like I haven't wasted the last three years of my life.
Still, we found a great church that we totally want to participate in, so praise God. And the pastor wanted to talk to me about possibly leading a life group. It's not what I was hoping for, but it's something. At least I can participate in the teaching process. But then he was talking about how he wanted to pair me up with someone else who "maybe isn't as confident" like me, and we could teach together. I know this is a big answer to prayer, but at the same time, it really frustrates me. Do I exude incompetence, that no one is willing to trust me, even with a simple job?
But then I got to thinking about it, and maybe this is the best thing. I'll be able to participate, and perhaps one of the youth group kids will also help me lead, and that will save them from my fate of having no experience. Plus, at this church, I have Eric and his brother Scott, both of whom I respect. I can go to them for help if I ever need it, so it really is a great way to learn. I guess it's just sort of embarrassing, considering that I'm 25 and I'm not even trusted to lead a life group. On the other hand, you have to start somewhere, and despite my age, there's no getting around the fact that I have zero experience doing anything in the local church.
Maybe the Lord has put me here at this time because it has taken me this long to be humble enough to do half of a life group. And maybe I really should start out this low, and I shouldn't be trusted just yet. I don't really get it. But I'll just have to trust God that if this isn't right, at least I'll know better where to go from here once I start doing it.
I meet Eric tomorrow at Chipotle to discuss all of this stuff. Here's hoping that something good comes from this, otherwise I'll find myself to be without purpose again.